Empathy is an exceptional genetically programmed capacity in our brain, with which we tune in with the feelings and intentions of others. However, not everyone can light the lantern that illuminates the process of building the most solid and rewarding relationships. We often hear say sentences like (that person is not empathetic) ,. Well, one very important thing to clarify right away is that our brain has a very sophisticated architecture; by which it favors this connection. empathy is one of the strategies by which we guarantee the survival of our species; it allows us to understand the individual in front of us and gives us the possibility of establishing a deep relationship with him.
Nowadays, life has so many stimuli and distractions for young people that it has stopped all being fully aware of the present moment and even of the person before us. People are more attentive to their electronic devices than to the feelings of others, and this is a problem we have to think about.
True empathy knows no judgments
Our judgments reduce the ability to get closer to others; they put us on the corner, in a hidden point of the window from which we enjoy visibility and a limited perspective: ours. It must be said that it is not easy to listen to others without inwardly issuing judgments, without assigning a label, without defining them within us skilled, awkward, strong, disoriented, mature or immature.
Everyone does it, some more or less, but if we were able to get rid of this disguise, we would see people in a more authentic way, we would feel a better empathy and we would more accurately capture the emotions of others.
We should practice this exercise every day. It is a skill that according to some studies, we develop as we grow. Empathy, as well as the ability to listen without judging, is more common in people who accumulate experiences.
Empathic people enjoy a good emotional knowledge
Empathy is an indispensable part of emotional intelligence. We know that this scientific current and that of personal growth are fashionable, but we are sure that we have learned to be good managers of our emotional world.
Nowadays there are still many people who take lightly concepts such as self-regulation, resilience, proactivity, assertiveness. These are people without a real emotional inventory, who continue to be carried away by anger, anger or frustration as a 4-year-old would do.
Other people, on the other hand, believe that being empathic is synonymous with suffering, as if it were an emotional contagion through which one experiences the pain of others, and one enters into a sort of mimesis of the malaise. This is not the right approach. We must understand that healthy, useful and constructive empathy comes from someone who is able to manage their emotions, who enjoys a strong self-esteem, who knows how to set limits and who is also able to accompany others in an emotional sense. cognitive.
Empathy as a social attachment that keeps people together
As curious as it may be, in the animal kingdom the concept of empathy is present in a decisive manner for a concrete reason: the survival of the species. Many animals of different species show cooperative behavior, according to which the classic idea of survival of the strongest is deficient. Examples are some whales capable of attacking killer whales to defend seals.
However, among us people, in many cases, it is the reverse effect to predominate, namely the need to impose on each other, to look for enemies, to build barriers, to raise walls, to cancel people, to attack the weaker for the simple fact that it is more fragile and different.
Those characterized by authentic empathy believe in social commitment. Because survival is not a business, it must have nothing to do with politics, with interests or with selfishness. Surviving does not mean just allowing your heart to beat, but also to get rich with dignity and respect, feel appreciated, free and part of a whole where everyone is important.
This is, therefore, true empathy: putting ourselves in the shoes of others in order to reach a harmony full of harmony. It is good to work every day to achieve this goal.