Frustration, how to resume life in your hands

Frustration and discomfort are caused by the lack of satisfaction of a need, or a goal. Let’s not stop at anger and disappointment, but let’s go over looking for the right way to move forward. In psychology, frustration is identified as that experience that is generated every time we see a need, a desire, a dream, an expectation and a goal to vanish into nothingness and to fail.

This is what is felt when the pleasure expected from the satisfaction of what is desired or for which one has worked hard is swept away by something unexpected, which leaves behind anger, bitterness, displeasure, dissatisfaction and often guilt.

It is that sense of disappointment that animates our actions when we feel powerless in the face of the obstacles that stand between us and our goal, or we see things going in a different direction than imagined, without feeling able to react.

There is no single way of expressing frustration and therefore reacting. There is a personal and unique way that depends on character aspects, problem solving skills, locus of control, past life experiences and much more.

Everyone feels angry when something is wrong and forces us to change course. Obviously the level of aggression varies. Excessive anger is destructive, and certainly does not lead to improvement.

Surely you can have disappointment, a sense of emptiness, a desire to give up everything, difficulty in thinking of having to start over or change, annoyance, sadness, resignation.

Above all in subjects with low self-esteem and passivity there will be a wild dance of guilt, self-blame even without motivation, excessively pessimistic and devaluing ideas and certainly a sense of impotence. In the worst cases we arrive at the paralysis understood as the abandonment of any activity due to a sense of inadequacy and total incapacity.

There are people who seem impassive in the face of frustration, often those who live in a worse way because they can not express it.

Frustration: functional reaction

After a first moment of anger, cries and words in the wind it is good to stop and look for a way to get out of this state of mind and resume life in your hands.

The first step is to accept frustration or failure to fulfill what is expected, allowing mistakes in case of error, accepting obstacles and reducing catastrophic thinking. Make room for positive thinking and internal locus of control and experience defeat as an opportunity.

Redefining the needs, desires and objectives to be achieved, considering the real possibility of satisfying them in the context in which they are, what they need, what makes satisfaction difficult, resizing expectations towards oneself but especially towards others that can not be changed and check.

To look for the possible alternatives, giving oneself the possibility to change and to explore new realities, to look for a different way to reach the goals or, why not, to modify the goal.

Give yourself the opportunity to try again, putting in place every possible resource to leave nothing unfinished and possible source of regret, be assertive and consciously express what you think and feel without leaving to others the power to decide for themselves, while respect for the needs of others.

Work on your self-esteem, on your potential and put them on the field with confidence and determination but at the same time become able to smile at the difficulties, not to judge themselves based on successes but allow limits, defects and failures living them as a source of new rebirth.

An advice on all is to not underestimate the effects of frustration and learn to ask for help, even professionals.

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