Loneliness should not be seen only in its negative sense. Being alone can also be a wonderful time to know and accept yourself. Perhaps, each of us has experienced the fear of loneliness; when someone dear to us left us when we moved, when we lost our best friend when a son got married. Yet it is in moments of solitude that the individual is driven to face himself …. face to face. And it is this comparison that we are afraid. But if it is really important to form one’s personality, it is just as true that our consciousness needs moments of solitude to evolve, to improve, to learn to accept.
The concept of solitude is not related to physical solitude, to being alone. Whoever feels alone is actually only socially. The problem of the sole people is in fact linked to the lack of correspondence between the social relationships they desire and the real social interactions. This asymmetry generates a sense of stress, alertness, which results in the sense of loneliness.
According to psychologist John Cacioppo, solitude can be considered as an alarm bell that should push the subject to assume a different attitude towards social interactions. When we feel alone we should activate an inner self-critique process to understand our behaviors.
Often, however, we tend to focus solely on how to do others, taking for granted “to be right”. We are self-defeated, with no responsibility, when it is not. In short, a bit of self-consciousness can help counteract the sense of loneliness.
According to the researchers when we only feel our brain is in a state of alert, he fears danger and seeks self-preservation and isolates himself even more (a kind of dog who bites his tail).
- Avoid isolation and accept the invitations of people around you (even if you do not want them). Needless to look for alternate ways like the net, people do not always show them in the authentic way and it’s easy to stumble in straw fires.
- Just accepting to meet with friends or relatives is not enough, a balanced action plan needs to be worked out. Try to build a weekly calendar so you can get free days off for additional commitments. If the people you know do not invite you anywhere, arrange the meeting. Eating a pizza with friends, going to a concert or at the cinema can be a hint.
- Pessimism is contagious and with it the cheerfulness. Learn to identify positive people who make you feel good. Organizing evenings and meetings with negative subjects or in any case not in tune with your personality will not help you feel less alone. Instead, staying with people with whom you have common interests is the first step to fighting the sense of loneliness.
- Accept yourself, be more rational and less guarded. People who suffer from solitude tend to be also prevented from others. Accepting oneself is the first step to understanding positivity even in other people.