Loneliness is not an external condition, it does not mean that you have no friends or are not social. The sense of loneliness is an interior condition, apparently sad, but which helps us to grow. Loneliness is for the Spirit, what food is for the body (Seneca). This sentence contains the essence of the speech, solitude is necessary for our spiritual part, as food is for the body.
It is solitude that concerns the search for an inner silence, which allows us to reconnect with our soul. That condition allows us to re-find that (apparent) emptiness which is the temple of our inner peace. It is a loneliness that we consciously choose, a condition we need.
The problem arises when we suffer the condition of loneliness and do not accept it. The suffering that arises from this comes from the fact that we are dominated by the idea we have about loneliness, which makes us feel distant and separated from everything and everyone, in a condition of detachment that can lead to apathy and depression.
If we manage to experience this state in a different way, then loneliness becomes our friend. First of all, it must be welcomed and accepted. The secret is not to be afraid of loneliness and not to run away. If you notice and observe, you will notice that it is more the fear of being or remaining alone that frightens us, rather than the loneliness itself.
Secondly, we can observe how loneliness does not create any problems, but rather it is our way of seeing and living it that makes us suffer. It is the idea we have about being alone or the condition of feeling isolated that creates suffering and fear.
We must begin to accept the fact that loneliness is part of life and that, like everything we live, we are creating it to find ourselves. Have you thought about it?
In fact, learning to be alone (which does not mean being alone) is important for developing one’s freedom and growing internally.
Feeling good with yourself is essential for a good inner balance, so we need a path that allows us to feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, to feel good with others you must first feel good about yourself (which is one of the most difficult things to do).
After all, it is always possible to change one’s condition, since it is a consequence of our inner processes and our thoughts.
Loneliness, change always happens first internally
So loneliness is an ideal condition for doing good work on yourself. In fact, the most ancient souls or those who embark on a spiritual path often feel the need to retire in solitude, precisely to live the spiritual dimension more.
Among other things, scientific studies have found that the most intelligent and creative people are those who live more secluded and withdrawn! So much so that those who have a more solitary life can develop more talent and a brighter mind.
Therefore, finding spaces in your life in which you can cultivate presence, retreat, meditation is important, but this does not mean being alone, detached from the world or even less happy.
Loneliness is not an unhappy condition, rather it allows us to find the place where true happiness is born. On the other hand, happiness does not depend on the outside, on what happens, on what you have, or on the people in your life!
So if you are suffering from loneliness, you can try to turn this seemingly unpleasant condition into an opportunity to reconnect to your deepest part. On the contrary, if you fill your life because you are afraid of being alone, you could instead welcome moments of solitude to create the inner silence that will allow you to access that sacred space inside you from where everything comes from joy, happiness, peace.