Patience is something that needs to be trained and improved, rediscovering some important values and elements, which have often been lost. The watchword of our time is frenzy, that is the continuous race towards time and the desire to reach or have everything immediately, correlated by infinite emotions and experiences. You are no longer able to wait and every moment without activity appears as wasted, empty and useless time, which must be filled.
This condition largely derives from the context in which one lives and from the education received. However, very often it is something inevitable because the requests from the outside are many and the time never seems to be enough, so the race is on the agenda. Waiting causes a series of sensations including anger, frustration, a sense of worthlessness, and dissatisfaction, up to the sense of guilt for lost time, as well as the anxiety of how to recover it.
Patience, learn to savor the here and now
Impatience often comes from the difficulty in listening to one’s feelings and experiences in the here and now, especially if they are unpleasant such as frustration, boredom, and anger. However, learning to live in the present moment, and welcoming the things around you, a thousand opportunities of an empty moment, is something important to improve your patience and not get overwhelmed by anxiety.
Every moment is important and can give something, so wait for things to happen at their own pace, living every moment as something important. One way to start is to learn to listen to your breath, focusing your attention on it, so as to reduce the state of activation of impatience and at the same time shift the focus of your mind. Performing this exercise even away from the moments in which a wait is required allows you to improve its execution and effectiveness.
Another obstacle to patience is expectations. This especially in a broader vision and not limited to everyday events. What is expected of life and the conditions in which we live, family, work, friendship, often goes beyond what reality can offer or give at that precise moment. Expectations do not often allow us to see how things really are and therefore to realize the goals achieved, the skills acquired, and what has been built.
A closer look will allow us to understand what can be achieved and what not and in what times, so as to reduce impatience and negative experiences in the face of waiting, sometimes of something that cannot be in the here and now and maybe not even. in the future. It does not mean giving up dreams or hopes, but reviewing them in the light of external reality and possibilities, so as to achieve things in the short term, improve one’s feeling of effectiveness and make the wait less exhausting, because the goal appears closer.
Set realistic goals
It is good to learn to build goals that are achievable, starting from the analysis of the current condition, resources, and limits. In this way, the work to achieve them will be targeted and the energies well channeled, so as to reduce the wait and reach the goal at inappropriate times. Patience develops in learning to manage the different steps to get to what is desired, without the frenzy of doing too many things and maybe badly, chasing unrealistic and too big goals, but doing few things, well and with awareness.
Do not judge
Judgment towards oneself and towards others is another great enemy of patience. Specifically, it often happens that waiting or doing things more calmly, makes you feel incapable, inactive, and not very productive, triggering a series of negative judgments about yourself, which have few functional effects. Learning to be more indulgent with yourself, allowing yourself the opportunity to take time, to experience moments of calm and tranquility without judging yourself, is a good way to increase patience and improve.
Slow down and plan
Even planning and setting priorities allow you to learn to wait. Understanding what can wait and what needs to be done right away is in fact a way to reduce the frenzy and give yourself time. So everything has its own time and can be done with calm, patience, and attention, waiting for the moment to do the rest, already fixed and well defined. In this way, all moments acquire a sense and the feelings of uselessness and dissatisfaction are reduced.
Planning also allows you to slow down and understand if the countless rushes, nervousness and constant inability to wait are really useful, or take you away from the true ability to live and savor things. Too often, in fact, we are focused on the future and we lose sight of the beauty of the present and of the goals achieved, not perceiving them satisfactory enough.
We should learn from Nature. it cannot anticipate or shorten the growth of plants, the seasons, the constant and meticulous work of some animal species that take care of their work of art with patience and dedication (the beehive, the cobweb, the anthill, etc. ), the passing of the day, but also the birth of a child, however, it is constant in its becoming, and always projected towards the future, but with patience and the ability to wait for the succession of events.
It does not mean living passively and letting things flow as they come, but learning to live them fully, giving meaning to even the simplest wait such as that at a traffic light or an office, understanding that it is still time available and it is up to us to make it. productive.