Relationship loneliness is a devastating and contradictory experience. It carries with it serious consequences, because there is nothing more painful than living the emotional emptiness and indifference of the loved one. Relationship loneliness is one of the deepest sufferings you can experience. It hurts to ignore the reasons for this emotional coldness. Having your loved one at your side and not perceiving it is pure contradiction. Few solitudes are more problematic (as well as frequent) of couple loneliness
However and as surprising as it may seem, there are many people who, despite having stable social relationships, feel lonely and disconnected from their surroundings. This can cause psychological distress but also health problems.
The topic is not new. The loneliness of a couple has always existed. However thanks to studies conducted on solitude in the population. Nowadays we are constantly discovering new information on this kind of suffering that occurs at almost all ages. Suffering young couples but especially adults in old age.
There are dramas in which words are not needed, tragedies to generate suffering. In reality the most painful dramas manifest themselves in silence day after day, in the daily life of two people who once swore eternal love, but now one of them does not swear or promise anything, but rather refuses and behaves with emotional coldness.
However, such a situation does not arise overnight. This psychological distance (which is not always physical) appears in unsuspected ways. How to stop giving importance to the customs of the past, leave out the details, don’t listen carefully to what the partner has to say, let yourself be carried away by the routine and no longer want to start new activities together.
These situations create a strong impact. Perceiving the mentally distant partner and feeling an ever greater emotional distance hurts. It is also at the origin of many other problems. Experts like Dr. Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, philosopher, psychologist and affective relationships expert, underline the following:
A distinction must be made between being alone and the phenomenon of solitude. Being alone means having no one on your side, it is a physical reality. On the contrary, solitude is an increasingly frequent psychological fact and is experienced above all by people who live in pairs. This type of loneliness often sets the basis for depressive and anxiety disorders. Suffering is acute and, as revealed by the study conducted at the University of Manchester (United Kingdom) by Dr. Greg Miller, loneliness as a psychological phenomenon is as dangerous for health as tobacco or a sedentary life.
Disaffection and fear of acting
Sometimes disaffection manifests itself as an icy wind whose origin cannot be identified. All of a sudden and without anything happening, everything loses its luminosity of meaning and importance. Emotions are no longer the same and it is useless to force oneself or show what one no longer feels.
Lack of love does not always need a concrete reason, it simply happens and when it happens it can be equally disconcerting for both partners. Well, when one is fully aware of not loving one another, one must act and make one’s feelings clear. Deception (and self-deception) maintained over time leads to serious consequences. One of these is to make the partner suffer through the perception of emotional coldness.
The routine that stifles love
Couple loneliness increases under the weight of routine. There are times when you simply let yourself be transported. Work, duties, children … Everything sinks into a mechanical rhythm where there is no room for affection, to look into the eyes and find yourself again.In the end, even conversations become routine, consuming affection, love and intimacy. In the face of all this, we can try ourselves to introduce changes or ask for the help of a professional. In any case, immobility rarely solves problems.
Finally, relationship loneliness is as common as it is deadly in many relationships. In the first place it is a source of suffering, of psychological and health problems. Secondly, no one deserves to experience this form of pain that carries so many aftermaths. We therefore try to understand the origin of this situation. We talk with the partner and we share solutions with honesty respect and responsibility.