Silence is often used as a strategy to hurt those who love us. Paradoxically, it is precisely the lovers who know the two sides of this coin well. Silence can become the best weapon of indifference. It can bring down expectations and brutally break expectations from love responses.
Silence is fear, anger, resentment
And also resignation and a sense of inadequacy. Human language is really powerful because even when words go away they are able to speak into the void they leave. Silence insinuates, accuses, betrays, and hurts.
Currently, psychologists, researchers, and many other industry experts recognize silence as a full-fledged form of mental abuse. There is a lot of talk about it in the studies on co-addictions and emotional addictions. More specifically, silence becomes abuse and a form of moral blackmail when it is used voluntarily instead of words.
It is enough that in a dispute one of the two parties in dispute refuses to dialogue. In order to cause a wound so great in the other, as to induce him to give in to his own demands. It has certainly happened to everyone, at least once in their life, to be angry with someone. And make him understand our disappointment by temporarily deciding not to speak to him.
The reiteration of this behavior inevitably leads to the disruption of the relationship, which ceases to be equal and begins to build its foundations on a hierarchy in which the abuser is dominant and the abused is dominated.
Blackmail consists in putting pressure on the other by making him clearly understand that you will not talk to him again if he does not consent to certain requests. The abuser will not only not speak to the abused but will assume clear attitudes of strong indifference.
Many people are so afraid of losing the esteem and trust of those they love that they would do anything to not damage the love relationship. There are people who build walls of silence so impenetrable that those who are loved by them feel completely displaced.
The sense of inadequacy and upheaval that invades those who suffer silently as a punishment causes them to give in to blackmail. Once he has obtained what he wanted, the abuser will be ready to reward the abused by giving him a place in his life. A clearly questionable post regarding dignity. As the manipulative part of the relationship does not show any esteem towards the victim.
If this manipulative strategy is repeated frequently almost to the point of becoming a habit, those who suffer from silence will enter an endless circle. A mental loop made up of rewards and rewards on the part of the beloved (or any other significant person) for having indulged his requests.
Silence is a black hole
At this point, the self-esteem of those who suffer the abuse will be so broken that they will mechanically begin to believe that they are loved only if they are willing to always give something in return. That love is a sinister trade in which the strongest in the couple is the one that imposes unsustainable models of relationship and common life.
All this may seem merciless on the part of those who carry out this manipulation. But we must never forget that those who use such mental games to dominate interpersonal relationships are certainly very fragile people. With a poor sense of self and that he cannot live any kind of relationship in a mature and peaceful way.
Silence is a black hole that swallows those who suffer it, but above all those who create it. It can become the den of loneliness, where all the disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, and frustrations settle down every day in search of redemption.
The disappointment and bitterness of certain individuals towards life can grow so much that it extends as if it were a tumor of the soul. And abuse through silence is the obvious symptom of this excruciating evil.