Guardian angel spiritual protection from the day of birth

Tag: silence

  • Silence as a strategy to hurt those who love us

    Silence is often used as a strategy to hurt those who love us. Paradoxically, it is precisely the lovers who know the two sides of this coin well. Silence can become the best weapon of indifference. It can bring down expectations and brutally break expectations from love responses.

    Silence is fear, anger, resentment

    And also resignation and a sense of inadequacy. Human language is really powerful because even when words go away they are able to speak into the void they leave. Silence insinuates, accuses, betrays, and hurts.

    Currently, psychologists, researchers, and many other industry experts recognize silence as a full-fledged form of mental abuse. There is a lot of talk about it in the studies on co-addictions and emotional addictions. More specifically, silence becomes abuse and a form of moral blackmail when it is used voluntarily instead of words.

    It is enough that in a dispute one of the two parties in dispute refuses to dialogue. In order to cause a wound so great in the other, as to induce him to give in to his own demands. It has certainly happened to everyone, at least once in their life, to be angry with someone. And make him understand our disappointment by temporarily deciding not to speak to him.

    The reiteration of this behavior inevitably leads to the disruption of the relationship, which ceases to be equal and begins to build its foundations on a hierarchy in which the abuser is dominant and the abused is dominated.

    Manipulative Strategy

    Blackmail consists in putting pressure on the other by making him clearly understand that you will not talk to him again if he does not consent to certain requests. The abuser will not only not speak to the abused but will assume clear attitudes of strong indifference.

    Many people are so afraid of losing the esteem and trust of those they love that they would do anything to not damage the love relationship. There are people who build walls of silence so impenetrable that those who are loved by them feel completely displaced.

    The sense of inadequacy and upheaval that invades those who suffer silently as a punishment causes them to give in to blackmail. Once he has obtained what he wanted, the abuser will be ready to reward the abused by giving him a place in his life. A clearly questionable post regarding dignity. As the manipulative part of the relationship does not show any esteem towards the victim.

    If this manipulative strategy is repeated frequently almost to the point of becoming a habit, those who suffer from silence will enter an endless circle. A mental loop made up of rewards and rewards on the part of the beloved (or any other significant person) for having indulged his requests.

    Silence is a black hole

    At this point, the self-esteem of those who suffer the abuse will be so broken that they will mechanically begin to believe that they are loved only if they are willing to always give something in return. That love is a sinister trade in which the strongest in the couple is the one that imposes unsustainable models of relationship and common life.

    All this may seem merciless on the part of those who carry out this manipulation. But we must never forget that those who use such mental games to dominate interpersonal relationships are certainly very fragile people. With a poor sense of self and that he cannot live any kind of relationship in a mature and peaceful way.

    Silence is a black hole that swallows those who suffer it, but above all those who create it. It can become the den of loneliness, where all the disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, and frustrations settle down every day in search of redemption.

    The disappointment and bitterness of certain individuals towards life can grow so much that it extends as if it were a tumor of the soul. And abuse through silence is the obvious symptom of this excruciating evil.

  • Loneliness helps us grow if it is accepted

    Loneliness helps us grow if it is accepted

    Loneliness is not an external condition, it does not mean that you have no friends or are not social. The sense of loneliness is an interior condition, apparently sad, but which helps us to grow. Loneliness is for the Spirit, what food is for the body (Seneca). This sentence contains the essence of the speech, solitude is necessary for our spiritual part, as food is for the body.

    It is solitude that concerns the search for an inner silence, which allows us to reconnect with our soul. That condition allows us to re-find that (apparent) emptiness which is the temple of our inner peace. It is a loneliness that we consciously choose, a condition we need.

    The problem arises when we suffer the condition of loneliness and do not accept it. The suffering that arises from this comes from the fact that we are dominated by the idea we have about loneliness, which makes us feel distant and separated from everything and everyone, in a condition of detachment that can lead to apathy and depression.

    If we manage to experience this state in a different way, then loneliness becomes our friend. First of all, it must be welcomed and accepted. The secret is not to be afraid of loneliness and not to run away. If you notice and observe, you will notice that it is more the fear of being or remaining alone that frightens us, rather than the loneliness itself.

    Secondly, we can observe how loneliness does not create any problems, but rather it is our way of seeing and living it that makes us suffer. It is the idea we have about being alone or the condition of feeling isolated that creates suffering and fear.

    We must begin to accept the fact that loneliness is part of life and that, like everything we live, we are creating it to find ourselves. Have you thought about it?
    In fact, learning to be alone (which does not mean being alone) is important for developing one’s freedom and growing internally.

    Feeling good with yourself is essential for a good inner balance, so we need a path that allows us to feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, to feel good with others you must first feel good about yourself (which is one of the most difficult things to do).

    After all, it is always possible to change one’s condition, since it is a consequence of our inner processes and our thoughts.

    Loneliness, change always happens first internally

    So loneliness is an ideal condition for doing good work on yourself. In fact, the most ancient souls or those who embark on a spiritual path often feel the need to retire in solitude, precisely to live the spiritual dimension more.

    Among other things, scientific studies have found that the most intelligent and creative people are those who live more secluded and withdrawn! So much so that those who have a more solitary life can develop more talent and a brighter mind.

    Therefore, finding spaces in your life in which you can cultivate presence, retreat, meditation is important, but this does not mean being alone, detached from the world or even less happy.

    Loneliness is not an unhappy condition, rather it allows us to find the place where true happiness is born. On the other hand, happiness does not depend on the outside, on what happens, on what you have, or on the people in your life!

    So if you are suffering from loneliness, you can try to turn this seemingly unpleasant condition into an opportunity to reconnect to your deepest part. On the contrary, if you fill your life because you are afraid of being alone, you could instead welcome moments of solitude to create the inner silence that will allow you to access that sacred space inside you from where everything comes from joy, happiness, peace.

  • Spiritual Retreats Suspension of Daily Stress

    Spiritual retreats represent an often unique opportunity to experience a parenthesis distant from technological digital interconnections. Because spirituality is not a fad. If you are already imagining the mystical silence within the four walls of a convent, know that it is not only this that is spoken today when referring to spiritual retreats.

    Alongside traditional Catholic-style initiatives, there are many other types of spiritual paths that are offered to post-modern men today. These draw above all from the New Age area, from Buddhist meditation and from initiatives derived from these also offering secular ways, independent of creeds or religious confessions, to cultivate one’s spirituality.

    So whether you are in a prayer group among the most traditional walls of a convent, or that you find yourself immersed in nature meditating silently in front of the Buddha statue, or that you still participate in a spiritual growth group for the rediscovery of your Child Inside, some of the psychological benefits that you can get from these very different forms of spiritual retreats are much more similar than you might think.

    A first aspect not to underestimate the benefits of spiritual retreats is that of representing an unrepeatable pause from all that postmodernity and technology today represents for us. And we’re not talking about a little healthy rest. Spiritual retreats offer our mind an opportunity to enter into a space-time dimension that is suspended and distant from everyday life, in which it is the contact with our interiority that is privileged concerning the relationship with the outside.

    The mobile phones are switched off, there are no car or urban traffic noises, often time passes in absolute silence; when most of the stresses that generally come from outside are missing, then we have the space to bring attention to ourselves; only in this way is it possible to regain contact with our most spiritual and contemplative part.

    This suspension from the rhythms of everyday life may not be easy since we are so used to being constantly bombarded with information, inputs, and requests of any kind that our ability to concentrate is now dependent on this continuous multitasking. But in this constantly hyper-connected and digitized world, real ties to people or a reference community often fail.

    In this sense, spiritual retreats offer another benefit for post-modern man: the sense of belonging to a community, to the group of people with whom one shares a significant experience that creates a bond. Praying or meditating are activities that can be experienced very differently if they are practiced alone or in a group, silence and recollection become the silence and recollection of the group and not only of the individual, and this amplifies a sense of connection with the others with a supra-personal and spiritual dimension.